Alkmar's Journal

2003-11-14T07:53:00.000-06:00

hey, haven't been here in a while and thought i'd say hello.....hello what's up? just here in first hour with nothing to do whatsoever. really tired and can't wait till i get home and get to sleep in. got 2 e-mails from Konstantinos :). well ttyl bye

2003-11-01T13:50:00.000-06:00

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2003-09-29T07:37:00.000-05:00

Hey know i haven't posted in a bit but check out the Leaving Song Part II now!

2003-08-25T20:47:00.000-05:00

Hey, it's me again. Just saw Freddy Vs. Jason twice and it was awesome. The second time i saw it with a great new friend. Just started school on the 20th and so far its been pretty ok...added one picture and i still have the offer of customized Blogs...just send me a picture Url and font specifics...thx. ttyl

2003-08-07T08:14:00.000-05:00

Hey, know i haven't posted in a while. Anyway, lately i've been having even stranger dreams than before and i know it means something, but what? Oh well, can't wait 'till school starts. I'll also try to post more poems as i come up with them and as i find the ones i wrote before this journal. Hey, if you haven't seen Pirates of the Carribbean....GO SEE IT! You also need to see The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Oh...and if you visit(ed) the Church-of-Havok link, HELLO!! it's just a joke! jeesh. don't take it seriously. Ok, now that i got that out. hope your summer wasn't as boring as mine. anyway, ttyl.

2003-07-08T17:39:00.000-05:00

Here's some lyrics from a new friend that is near and dear to me.

"Just like cellophane, you try to cling so tight to me, but your attempt's in vain. You've less sincerity than the plastic. Paper in rain. The print appears so bright to me. The words remain. I hold it to the light, I see right through. So eager to say, "hello", but you don't know me. You just know what you see. Pay the price to see the show but you don't own me. Before you knew would you have felt the same? Just when I'm inspired, you drain the drive right outta me, and even when I'm tired you push me to perform for your amusement. Just like raging fire, you burn what's left inside of me and to fulfill your desire, I'd give you light till I burned out. Just when you start to smile, I look into your eyes and see your veiled denial to express any real emotion. Just wait around a while, you'll lose what you once had for me. I'll be out of style, I'll be discarded with the warmth you once feigned."

and

so i was right, my blood is black indeed. it's been inside way too long, laying still beneath my skin, filling my veins, but neglecting my need for oxygen, &so on. goodbye left arm, so long

&maybe a sound formed itself into the shape of my name,
twisted itself and warped its voice
into a terrifying parody of my name and
of my ideas and of my plans and of my future.

today i was watching my cat, staring at it's blatant paws when suddenly they turned into roughenend hands, i barely
had a chance of escape before the zeal of the hands caught me and wrapped themselves around my so innocent neck, on the
verge of passing out into a very different world than this, one where there's no darkness only fucked up dreams, i remembered
that I was going to ask you your thoughts on suicide, how could something so painful make me smile and feel so wonderful
just thinking about it? Although I would never attempt it, i often day dream about how i would kill myself, and what song
i would put on 'repeat' on my stereo for whoever finds me. the way for this ever so lifeless body to go out by choice would
be cutting my wrists and gently writing in blood with shaking tingles "goodbye", the lovely tune that i would do this wonderful
deed to myself would have to be afi - god called in sick today, i can't explain at this moment in time the deep
raw emotion i have for that song, especially the lyrics "...and miles away my mother cries, i can't help my laughter as she cries..."
how is that not the most beautiful thing you have ever read? at all in your time, have you ever felt like that?
smiling with tears in your eyes as you think about how the people around you would be affected if you took your last
breath away. the friends i thought I once have, their real skin has been exposed, i found out the way their innner
machines churn and turn over, i no longer care if you want to enjoy time with me, it's quite obvious why you always
lied to me, the CD-R's I had in my desk drawer explained a lot about the way you think, i'm thru, my time has come I hope
you love my intentions, the meaning behind my nothingness...

-- Travis aka IntangibleInsight--

2003-06-20T21:10:00.000-05:00

Hey visit this site, why?, bc i told you 2!! >:0 Poor Charles

2003-06-19T23:18:00.000-05:00

See The Leaving Song Part II Video and the Girls Not Grey Video

2003-06-12T19:41:00.000-05:00

New Quiz i just took(may have to scroll over for things)

You've also been a king,
an amoeba, and a rock star in your previous incarnations...

Which Karma
Slave character are you most like? No doubt you cannot live
without the answer.

2003-05-28T18:27:00.000-05:00

2003-05-23T23:45:00.000-05:00

Hey peeps!! know its been a while since i last posted but oh well... this month has been so wild!! I just got some new AFI CD's and have requested to join the admirable Church of Havok!!! You must check them out, they'll possess your entire being, no kidding!! That's how good they are! :) Anyway i know i've got a ton o' pictures of different people but that's my style man! >:0 'K well, i'll get back to kickin' some video game ass! Hope you enjoy the pics and latest poems. AND PPLLEEAASSEE give me some feedback...on anything... No one has :(. I feel so neglected:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(. Oh well, please contact me and i hope your day is fullof kickass awesomely sweet sweetness.

2003-04-23T22:48:00.000-05:00

You're a Shapeshifter! You're one to be reckoned
with and can change into anything you
wish..even if it doesn't exist...I'll have to
be extra careful around you.

Which Wit'ch Star Element are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-23T21:55:00.000-05:00

Pure Spirit. You are as pure as they come, you walk
among this foreign world and weep for its dead.
Oh, the horrors you will encounter upon your
journeys to this world.

Which Spirit Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-23T21:15:00.000-05:00

Hey....New quiz Which Spirit Are You? Please tell me what you think of this one too...THX!! :)

2003-04-20T10:57:00.000-05:00

Hey, just made another quiz... tell me what you think of it Thanks! :)

2003-04-20T08:40:00.000-05:00

hey, me here, just wanted to let you know that i created a quiz at selectsmart.com
Which Wit'ch Star Charcter are you?
email me telling me how it is ok? THX! :)

2003-04-19T14:33:00.000-05:00

Which Megami Kouhosei character are you?

Take the Megami Kouhosei character selector to find out.

2003-04-19T14:09:00.000-05:00
Yo, wuz up? Just me here...today has been so horrible so far and i wish i could just freakin' die or kill myself. My mom just had to take me shopping for clothes today which i absolutely loathe. Plus the internet wasn't working and she went off on me for no reason just because i was frustrated with the computer and thought i was taking it out on her..Bof!! she didn't even apologize after i told her what was really goin' on..what a BITCH!! >:0